blast from the past

do you guys remember this?  i think it only aired in the ny, nj, ct tri-state area, so the local yokels’ ears may perk up a bit.  for the rest of you, the beat may seem familiar as it is the basis for the busta rhymes song “dangerous,” from which he also took many of the lyrics.  apparently, he only realized it after the song had been released and hit the top of the charts.  he tried to do the right thing by the psa council, but they didn’t mind.  some accountant or something wrote it and i don’t think it was ever copyrighted.  

 lorla, this one’s for you:

truth in advertising: when reality meets the tsa

so, on one of my many early morning jaunts to the cleve of late, i was standing in a very long security line at about, oh, five thirty in the morning.  nervous travelers abounded, anxious to catch their flights, but the line was not moving.  this gave me several long minutes to really take in the ambience of the continental terminal at lovely LaGuardia airport.

i look to my left and there’s a life size poster for the TSA or the Port Authority of NY/ NJ and their amazing dedication to customer service.  It read something like this: “We’re dedicated to your comfort and satisfaction as much as we are your safety” with a nice smiling lady assisting a customer.  Next to this was an actual, though decidedly less smiley, airport employee.

cue the really late and extremely nervous woman who runs up to said employee and asks if she (the employee) can help as she (the flyer) is definitely going to miss her flight because the line has not moved.  to which she (the employee), clearly inspired by her calling and mission responds:

“lady, that’s too bad.  ALL these people (sweeping hand gesture) gonna miss their flights.  now get back at the end of the line.  next time you might wanna get here early.”

and, scene.

ZZZZZuper sunday

YAWN.

Golden boy Peyton Manning has his ring. We can all breathe a sigh of relief.

After an exciting 92 yard kickoff return for a touchdown by the Bears Devin Hester, it was all downhill for Superbowl XLI. The rain can certainly be blamed for some of the sloppyness in the game- missed snaps, fgs and receptions. Or as Jim Nantz so eloquently put it “The rain is absoultely having a little effect on the game.” But the plays throughout the game, as well as the much-ado-about-nothing outcome, were as predictable as possible. Rex Grossman looked like a deer in headlights. Manning showed his talent, and his propensity to err when it’s clutch and Viniatieri continued his campaign to prove that kickers can be the key to get you to, and through, a Superbowl championship.

Even though Manning has been pretty abysmal in the post season, his stepping it up for these last two games will make him an even bigger name. He has to be the dullest shining star in recent QB history. No personality, haircut from 1967, part of a legacy family that really consists of two good/ great QBs and one starting QB. I didn’t think it’s possible, but the Manning era is making me miss John Elway’s fabled quest for a ring.

Maybe I’m being hard on him, but I think it’s a reflection of the lack of dynamic and fun players when a player that has only been on the professional stage for eight years… wait. It’s been EIGHT years? F. I’m sitting here thinking it’s been four, maybe five at the most. Forget everything I just said. Eight years is a long time to be doing anything in the NFL. Good for you, Peyton.

Having just admitted that, it’s kind of depressing to realize that thanks to this win and Tiki retiring, we can expect to see an even higher ratio of commercials starring Peyton Manning vs. the entire-roster-of-the-rest-of-the-NFL. If you weren’t sick of him before, kids, saddle up.

Truly, though, The Big Game shouldn’t really be about the commercials. It’s the biggest yearly sporting event (calm down soccer fans, I said yearly) that draws millions and millions of viewers worldwide. And they don’t see the commercials, just a lot of dead time during US broadcast-forced downtime (trust me, I once watched it in Spain. It made baseball look non-stop). This year proved to be the case in both actuality and theory. Nothing was happening during the breaks.

Two notable exceptions:

Kudos to Frito Lay for their subtle and quality commercial celebrating the fact that it’s the first time in history two black head coaches have met in the Superbowl. It was just really well done and nice that a corporation took the time to point that out in a non-preachy, non-condescending way, with pretty minimal product placement.

Boo! Hiss! to Snickers for their unfunny and homo-phobic mechanic “accidental kiss” spot. It was poorly executed and mean-spirited. Besides, since when does manscaping, or self-waxing, qualify as the most “manly” thing two mechanics can do in a garage? It’s just completely generic and lowest common denominator and I’m pretty happy to hear they won’t be showing it again.

OK, kids, I’m off. 9 days until pitchers and catchers report and I have some serious legwork to do before my Fantasy Baseball draft.

exploit the body, not the hands

American Apparel ads have the quality of child porn.  They’re supposed to make you feel good, because they don’t use sweatshop labor, but instead I just want to shower.