oh, bell hop? you seem to have forgotten this enormous trunk.

so, i may be writing a little prematurely, but then, it seems, i tend to do lots of things prematurely.  like write people off.  other things i take too long to do, like pack the emotional baggage and send it on its way.
casey and i have played out, almost to the letter, exactly what i [...]

it has come to this.

whilst having drinks with my recently engaged best friend in from the left coast for the holidays, we got to talking about relationships.  he’d been lucky enough to find a girl that was not only beautiful, but honestly enjoys his entirely warped sense of humor and world view.
with us were two fellow single gals, both [...]

bell hop! take these bags, please. posthaste.

i’m about to offer a little insight into the female mind.  granted, i am not your typical typical girl, but that’s probably what allows me to observe and report on what’s going on in here.  i could offer theories and procolomations and diatribes on the differences between the sexes and the problems they bring to cross-gender [...]

what do you get when you cross a hedge fund trader and a longshoreman?

well, that depends on whom you ask, i guess.  but according to ronnie of carle place, long island, what you get is what i, apparently, need. 
cs lewis and i met at the beer garden for a drink after an especially painful stab therapy session.  as i’d suspected, cs lewis’d made friends by the time i arrived.  [...]

it happened again.

i had another desperately sad deja vu this week when a wonderful,  gorgeous, funny, nice guy i work with asked about my boyfriend and when i said  i had nothing, he couldn’t believe it.  he was shocked that i’m single and told me that all the guys on his team think i’m the coolest.  he couldn’t [...]

hit me with your best shot

- you’re sex on legs.
- you have any english in you?  no? want some?
- please, you beautiful hair.  come back to my house of love.
- it’s so hot that you won’t come home with me.  morals really turn me on. 
- i have this bet with joey that i’m the better kisser.  will you be the [...]

Protected: names have been changed to protect the clinically insane

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

when the good ’ship sails

it is so much harder than walking away from a best friend than a boyfriend (girlfriend), no?  there can be something so much more intimate about a true, close friendship than a romantic relationship.
for one thing, a truly good friend really likes you for who you are.  they appreciate you for you.  that’s why they’re here. 
think [...]

the digital divide; fellas, listen up!

Boys, this one’s on the house. 
I’m going to give you a little insight into something that drives a majority of ladies, chicks, broads, skirts, girls, women, females crazy.  It actually makes the top of most deal-breaker lists.  A complete and total turn off.
wut is it? u ask. wut could b so bad as 2 make [...]

how not to court a lady with the written word

how not to court a lady with the written word
write like a teenager without riddlin:
hi how r u wow u r super cute my name is ****** and i’ll like to know a little more about u thank u byeeeee
write like james joyce without the genius:
just curious where the seagull was or where you were with [...]