Yoink! Stolen from the email archives of CS Lewis in honor of her Birthday

I spent this morning and early afternoon at our local DMV.   Since I have been meaning to become a legal citizen of this metropolis for some time now, I thought that I would take advantage of this free time so generously mandated by puppet company for which I work and change my Virginia license to a [...]

B.O.L.O.*- grey, bi-lobal, wrinkled mass of tissue weighing about 3 lbs.

People.  I have had my mind blown.  Several times today, and in the last few weeks, but I think today I’ve really done it.
 
So, yesterday I bought a plane ticket to Cairo for a 2.5 week sojourn through Egypt at the end of Ramadan.  Picked up my lonely planet guide- saw two pictures, and freaked [...]

place holder for angry post about manipulative romantic movie storylines that remind one of the fun diseases that await them in old age.

or. my total nuclear emotional meltdown due to the fucking notebook.  not for what you’re thinking, but the senile dementia.  thanks for reminding me of what i have to look forward to, you bastards.  i’d just made it through the holidays happy and relaxed.  fuckers.
and the romance wasn’t even that good.  when they see each [...]

a woman’s heart is a deep ocean

that’s what i learned tonight, kids.  
i finally sucked it up and watched titanic with sunny d, settling our bet from the march madness brackets at long last.  i have to say, while it’s not the worst movie i’ve ever seen (i fully expect battlefield earth to hold that honor forever), it pretty much lived up to [...]

stab! bang! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

well, kiddies, it’s happened.  i’ve finally gotten over the first hump: i acutally feel better.  my physical therapy has begun to have a lasting, measurable effect.
i noticed this going in to stab therapy on thursday.  i was walking in, and while not pain free, the pain was less pervasive and less severe than normal.  despite the utter teddy bear debacle [...]

a motorway for rabbits

 cs lewis and i spent much of our first three days lounging beside the resort pool or on one of the beaches.  tenerife has black sand beaches, with a finer grain than those of hawaii, and a remarkable natural beauty and varied climate, which is marred and scarred by the endless strips of english snackbars [...]

hit me with your best shot

- you’re sex on legs.
- you have any english in you?  no? want some?
- please, you beautiful hair.  come back to my house of love.
- it’s so hot that you won’t come home with me.  morals really turn me on. 
- i have this bet with joey that i’m the better kisser.  will you be the [...]

Protected: names have been changed to protect the clinically insane

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

the digital divide; fellas, listen up!

Boys, this one’s on the house. 
I’m going to give you a little insight into something that drives a majority of ladies, chicks, broads, skirts, girls, women, females crazy.  It actually makes the top of most deal-breaker lists.  A complete and total turn off.
wut is it? u ask. wut could b so bad as 2 make [...]

truth in advertising: when reality meets the tsa

so, on one of my many early morning jaunts to the cleve of late, i was standing in a very long security line at about, oh, five thirty in the morning.  nervous travelers abounded, anxious to catch their flights, but the line was not moving.  this gave me several long minutes to really take in [...]