i can say i knew her when

maybe i’m a total doofus, but i just got really excited because one of my best friend’s improv groups is referenced in the NYTimes today.  And called nonsensical (the name, not the improv)!!!!
sileva is famous
also, when i got to my brand new office today and my brand new job, there was a ringwraith riding a [...]

what do you get when you cross a hedge fund trader and a longshoreman?

well, that depends on whom you ask, i guess.  but according to ronnie of carle place, long island, what you get is what i, apparently, need. 
cs lewis and i met at the beer garden for a drink after an especially painful stab therapy session.  as i’d suspected, cs lewis’d made friends by the time i arrived.  [...]

blast from the past

do you guys remember this?  i think it only aired in the ny, nj, ct tri-state area, so the local yokels’ ears may perk up a bit.  for the rest of you, the beat may seem familiar as it is the basis for the busta rhymes song “dangerous,” from which he also took many of [...]

Protected: names have been changed to protect the clinically insane

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

things to do on a rainy day

that is if you’re an enormous nerd like me.
1.  Watch a Lifetime movie starring Jenna Elfman as a woman obsessed with a surgeon who has invented an entire relationship in her head (as well as a gauzily-lit psychiatrist and a contempt of court-prone journalist).  Best line from the court-appointed psychiatrist: “she has seven of the [...]

the digital divide; fellas, listen up!

Boys, this one’s on the house. 
I’m going to give you a little insight into something that drives a majority of ladies, chicks, broads, skirts, girls, women, females crazy.  It actually makes the top of most deal-breaker lists.  A complete and total turn off.
wut is it? u ask. wut could b so bad as 2 make [...]

truth in advertising: when reality meets the tsa

so, on one of my many early morning jaunts to the cleve of late, i was standing in a very long security line at about, oh, five thirty in the morning.  nervous travelers abounded, anxious to catch their flights, but the line was not moving.  this gave me several long minutes to really take in [...]

how not to court a lady with the written word

how not to court a lady with the written word
write like a teenager without riddlin:
hi how r u wow u r super cute my name is ****** and i’ll like to know a little more about u thank u byeeeee
write like james joyce without the genius:
just curious where the seagull was or where you were with [...]

o canada, or for those who thought of leaving when bush was elected

Biker Romp ‘Wild Hogs’ Debuts at No. 1
Sunday March 4 2:54 PM ET
The biker buddy comedy “Wild Hogs” and its ensemble cast of John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, William H. Macy and Tim Allen was the weekend box office champ with a $38 million take, according to studio estimates Sunday.
It was Walt Disney Co.’s biggest March [...]

PLS BE MINE….U TOUCH MY SOUL

do NOT attempt to adjust your monitors. this is an actual email i got this morning from match.com. like i could make this up if i wanted to…
ahem….:
MY ANGEL FRIEND…………. i dont really know how to start off but………..you have a beautiful profile that attracted my heart. your beauty and smile captured my imagination and [...]