what do you get when you cross a hedge fund trader and a longshoreman?

well, that depends on whom you ask, i guess.  but according to ronnie of carle place, long island, what you get is what i, apparently, need. 
cs lewis and i met at the beer garden for a drink after an especially painful stab therapy session.  as i’d suspected, cs lewis’d made friends by the time i arrived.  [...]

PLS BE MINE….U TOUCH MY SOUL

do NOT attempt to adjust your monitors. this is an actual email i got this morning from match.com. like i could make this up if i wanted to…
ahem….:
MY ANGEL FRIEND…………. i dont really know how to start off but………..you have a beautiful profile that attracted my heart. your beauty and smile captured my imagination and [...]

exploit the body, not the hands

American Apparel ads have the quality of child porn.  They’re supposed to make you feel good, because they don’t use sweatshop labor, but instead I just want to shower.