YES, I am totally one of those nerds (LOST theories)

I’m having yet another one of those HOLY SHIT moments about LOST, this one specifically relating to last night’s season finale.  So, if you’re not caught up, be warned, spoilers and ridiculous theories abound.

 1.  I think Jacob is in the coffin at the Haffs/ Drawlor* Funeral Home.  Jack would care because his life sucks after leaving the island, but Kate does not because her life has obviously improved. 

2.  Thanks to the bigger nerds out there, we know that the obit that so messes Jack up is for J…. antham of New York (for sure ruling out Sawyer) and the date of the obit is April 5, 2007.  How do we know this?  Because of the blessed geeks with HDTV out there who recognized the headline in the paper as belonging to an actual LA Times article:

april 5th story

obit closeup

Scratch that, I’m back to thinking it’s Locke- maybe as an amputee (that’s why the coffin seems small).  There’s no confirmation that Locke doesn’t have a last name that he doesn’t use.  After all, the real “Sawyer” wasn’t much of a father, and admitted he went by many names, so Locke might be the name of one of his foster parents.  But if it IS Locke, why didn’t Helen (Katy Segal) at least come?  You know what, it’s definitely Locke. 

Back to Jacob, we know that the creators have a serious thing for English philosophers, especially proponents of utlitarianism (which I totally studied my sophmore year in college and promptly forgot).  The icon of which is Jeremy Bentham.  Why can’t Jacob’s last name be Bentham?  He doesn’t have to be the Jacob on the Hanso board of directors- if he was, why would he allow Ben to kill all of his staff? 

Bentham’s biggest influences were John Locke, David (Desmond?) Hume, Jean-Jacques (Danielle?) Rousseau- see a pattern here?  All the people with whom the Island has an extra special connection.  Also, John (Kate) Austin-  a philosopher with ideas about moral and written law.

But the Bentham kicker is this thing called the Panopticon.  You gotta look this thing up.  I’m sure the similarities to the island and it’s different stations are no coincidence.

panopticon for dummies

or for those of you with even more free time than me:

panopticon for philosophy majors and/or masochists

Oh!  Also, since Patchy (Mikhail) seems to be immortal (surviving harpooning, brain aneurysm, etc.), as does Richard (mr. eyeliner), maybe they were born there OR came to the island aboard The Black Rock?  Richard was wearing pirate-y like clothes in Ben’s flashback to his youth and Mikhail’s got that eye patch.  Visual clues?  Normally, I don’t love all things pirate (in fact I now hate them, thank you Disney), but there IS a galleon on the island.

I know tomorrow I’ll have changed my mind again and found tons of new evidence to back up my new cockamamie theory, but I’m sticking with this for now.

Good thing we only have till February 09 to expound these theories.  As long as ABC and co. keep us going with the fake ads and websites and guerilla marketing…

we’ll all have forgotten about it until the DVD comes out.

* an anagram of Flash Forward

other goodies:

ben’s diary



1 Response to “YES, I am totally one of those nerds (LOST theories)”

  1. 1 santoki 4 June, 2007 at 21:56

    I tried to read this, but it just came out as rah, rah, rah. tee hee.

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“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”


Upon common theatres, indeed, the applause of the audience is of more importance to the actors than their own approbation. But upon the stage of life, while conscience claps, let the world hiss! On the contrary if conscience disapproves, the loudest applauses of the world are of little value - john adams
May 2007
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from the man who taught me everything:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”



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