random tips and lessons learned.

the fine people at wordpress set up the site so that one may see what search terms are used when chance readers are directed to ones site.  these can be very surprising.  i get a lot for “empire strikes back,” “neurologist,” “traits of an assassin,” none of which are surprising to me.  the last because it always follows an airing of the jenna elfman lifetime movie i blogged about a while back.

the more interesting ones are “gay squirrel,” “faggot,” “what do you do with an eight year old…”  the list goes on. 

it got me to thinking that i might occasionally put something in here for the wanderers; those seeking information, of all things, from the world wide web.  thus, i have decided to put in sundry tips i have picked up of late, in no particular order and for no particular reason. 

1. take claritin if you have a cold.

a lot of people cannot handle ephedrine.  sudafed makes a lot of people jittery. great for meth labs, not great for panickers and hypertension.  even non-ephedrine sudafed will raise your blood pressure.  claritin has something called loratidine in it, the active ingredient, that neither causes the jitters nor raises blood pressure, nor makes one particularly dry mouthed.  i am not allergic to anything, but claritin will always be in my medicine cabinet.

 2. mr. clean magic eraser is a godsend.

it removes dirt, smudges, soap scum, mold, everything you want gone and nothing you don’t.  it’s amazing.  it takes crayon, fingerprints, etc off walls without upsetting the paint.  tip: they tell you to wring all the water out of it, and you definitely need to.  i also recommend going over painted surfaces with a paper towel (lightly) afterward- it will eliminate any streaking.

3. walnut oil hides scratches on hard wood floors.

you can get it at most grocery stores and it takes them out.  scratches, not gouges.  it’s a pretty neat trick.

4. osage oranges get rid of bugs.

you can order them on the net.  leave the dried fruit in cabinets and closets- bugs and rodents HATE it and it’s non-toxic to you.


not alien testicles, but just as gruesome to bugs

5. hairspray is a great way to protect drawings.

if you like to sketch, spray your finished work with any kind of hairspray- it acts as a buffer against time and friction- you  don’t have to worry about your lines getting blurred in your sketch pad.

6. steaming foam cushions brings them back to life.

i saw this on trading spaces, tried it and it worked like a charm.  have foam pillows or couch cushions that are saggy or limp?  remove the covers and put some distilled water in your iron.   turn it on, and hit the steam button while holding the iron to the foam.  they puff up before your eyes.  and remain firm.  it’s awesome.  you may not need to trash that couch yet.

7. the best way to get the smell of garlic off your hands is to touch stainless steel.

seriously.  rubbing lemons on them helps, too, but steel does the trick for me.  if you cook with fresh garlic a lot, you know that smell can stay on your hands for days.  as soon as you’re done touching the fresh garlic, press your hands to some stainless steel (a clean kitchen sink usually does the job).

8. wear swim goggles to prevent tearing when cutting onions

shout out to ma weber for this one.  while it sounds ridiculous, and according to CS, looks hilarious, it works.  i’m saving it more for large onion projects like stuffing, but as someone with sensitive eyes, i’d rather look special in the kitchen than hurt all night.

9. the best way to prevent an oil stain from ruining a shirt?  dish-washing detergent.

got this one from my sister during her stint as a cleaning lady.  when you think about the organic chemistry, it makes sense.  since almost no one wants to think about organic chemistry, just know: it works (for the most part- you still have to get it relatively early).

10.  finally, to keep it in round numbers, the only cure for jet lag is hydration.  NOT sleep.

as a frequent traveler- both forward and backward in time zones, let me assure you, you cannot sleep away jet lag.  you’ll never get it right.  you’re body clock doesn’t adjust because you tell it to, it takes time.  we’ve all lost a night of sleep here or there- it never compares to the utter crap we feel when jet-lagged.  it’s because you’re seriously dehydrated.  an airplane is a desert- with recycled air.  relative humidity is less than 10%.  the food is salty.  you’re probably drinking.  even if you’re lucky enough to fly business, buy lots of water- the biggest bottle you can find.  i try to average one giant bottle per three hours of flight time.  so, you have to get up to go to the bathroom.  that’s actually good for your circulation anyway.  and when you land? buy another giant bottle or two and a gatorade.  your body will thank you for it. 

my next post will aim to help, too.  it’s about those of us (un)fortunate enough to wear a cup size larger than D, but aren’t 90 and want to provoke lust, not pity when seen in our underwear.  websites and everything will be included! 


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“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”


Upon common theatres, indeed, the applause of the audience is of more importance to the actors than their own approbation. But upon the stage of life, while conscience claps, let the world hiss! On the contrary if conscience disapproves, the loudest applauses of the world are of little value - john adams
January 2008
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from the man who taught me everything:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”



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