so many questions, and ones to which i actually DON’T want answers.

Read in this week’s The Week:

A Tasmanian man has avoided jail after being caught with hard-core octopus pornography.

Rodney McLagan, 48, had a collection of some 31,000 images and video clips, most of which depicted humans engaging in sex acts with snakes, tigers, and octopi. The judge suspended his sentence, citing a psychologist’s finding that McLagan suffers from clinically low self-esteem and that “you are particularly self-conscious about your teeth.”

So many questions, none of which I really want answered:

What is the attraction?  Is the slimy, fleshy consistency of octopi (precisely why I can’t eat them) and ew, I’m already making this worse than it is.

The suckers?  (stop it, now).

The blurb mentions hard-core octopus porn.  Does that mean there is soft-core octopus porn?  Doesn’t the fact that you’re looking at invertebrate smut qualify you as hard-core, just, right there?

Is hard-core snake and tiger porn so mundane it barely merits mention?  Those seem inherently more newsworthy, if only because these animals can actually kill you?  Maybe they went with the octopus angle to catch the halo effect of shark week buzz?

and the obligatory (bad) teeth joke:

Does this mean that millions of Englishmen are hiding illustrated Jules Verne novels under their mattresses?

ba-dum-dum!

 

Postscript:

I cannot wait to see how many new hits this blog gets from people searching for “invertebrate smut.”

 

So juicy.

So juicy.

Advertisements

1 Response to “so many questions, and ones to which i actually DON’T want answers.”


  1. 1 ms. savory 29 July, 2008 at 22:32

    Jules Verne is hot. “So juicy”.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




truth

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

truth

Upon common theatres, indeed, the applause of the audience is of more importance to the actors than their own approbation. But upon the stage of life, while conscience claps, let the world hiss! On the contrary if conscience disapproves, the loudest applauses of the world are of little value - john adams
July 2008
S M T W T F S
« Jun   Aug »
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

from the man who taught me everything:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

bygones


%d bloggers like this: