Archive for the 'career' Category

i can say i knew her when

maybe i’m a total doofus, but i just got really excited because one of my best friend’s improv groups is referenced in the NYTimes today.  And called nonsensical (the name, not the improv)!!!!

sileva is famous

also, when i got to my brand new office today and my brand new job, there was a ringwraith riding a fellbeast figure hanging from my ceiling.

home at last.


nyc hs kids should get smartass credits


from one of my two saintly teaching fellow friends, tackling nyc teens with tough love and a sense of humor:

 The other day, one of my favorite hooligans shared with me his plan to get back at security officers on the last day of school.

Here is genius at work…

“Miss- You have to hear my plan.
On the last day of school I’m gonna smuggle in three live chickens.
I will label them 1, 2 and 4.
Security will spend the whole fu^&ing day looking for chicken number 3.”

Now if only this mastermind would attend class every now and again, we’d all have cause to be hopeful for the future.

it happened again.

i had another desperately sad deja vu this week when a wonderful,  gorgeous, funny, nice guy i work with asked about my boyfriend and when i said  i had nothing, he couldn’t believe it.  he was shocked that i’m single and told me that all the guys on his team think i’m the coolest.  he couldn’t imagine a world in which i was single.  if he wasn’t engaged…

it wasn’t sleazy, and i know he meant it as a compliment, but i really hate it when they say that.

but, it’s not just me. 

a lovely, fun and beautiful friend of mine, ms. savory, has had her share of troubles.  she was telling me just last night that she met this funny, nice guy who was pursuing her.  they had talked about maybe taking a next step towards exclusivity and after spending a few fun and margarita filled hours with me at our hell’s kitchen local discussing rimmers with our flirty, friendly, irish bartender, she went off to meet him so they could make the advances they’d discussed.

fast forward to this morning.  i receive a text from ms. savory:

last night he asked me if i wanted to be exclusive and take the next step.  i said yes.  then he said his ex moved back on tuesday and they’re giving it another shot.

no shit.

i mean what the?  why’d he ask? 

me confused.

truth in advertising: when reality meets the tsa

so, on one of my many early morning jaunts to the cleve of late, i was standing in a very long security line at about, oh, five thirty in the morning.  nervous travelers abounded, anxious to catch their flights, but the line was not moving.  this gave me several long minutes to really take in the ambience of the continental terminal at lovely LaGuardia airport.

i look to my left and there’s a life size poster for the TSA or the Port Authority of NY/ NJ and their amazing dedication to customer service.  It read something like this: “We’re dedicated to your comfort and satisfaction as much as we are your safety” with a nice smiling lady assisting a customer.  Next to this was an actual, though decidedly less smiley, airport employee.

cue the really late and extremely nervous woman who runs up to said employee and asks if she (the employee) can help as she (the flyer) is definitely going to miss her flight because the line has not moved.  to which she (the employee), clearly inspired by her calling and mission responds:

“lady, that’s too bad.  ALL these people (sweeping hand gesture) gonna miss their flights.  now get back at the end of the line.  next time you might wanna get here early.”

and, scene.

fleeing (to) the cleve

so, all of you 30 Rock fans out there- which should be all of you- must have loved the season finale, “Cleveland.”  it was typically hilarious and ridiculous and, as usual, has creepy parallels to rather specific things in my life.

like liz’s cell phone ring is wagner.  the cell goes off.  the english avian bone chick says “oh, you like vagner?”  and liz says “no, i like elmer fudd.”  and so, dawn turns to me and says “damn.  she is you.”  which i like, because I like to pretend i’m as successful, smart or funny as tina fey or liz lemon.  we do have a lot in common, though I do have the better name and am not pretending to vote for Barack Obama.

so then, the episode goes on to be all about cleveland and the excellence of ‘the cleve’ in relation to nyc.  and where would i be traveling to eight (EIGHT!) times in the next three weeks?  you get the gold star, kids!  the cleve. 

several of these fantastic trips filled with cash and prizes (read: marathon meetings and getting lost at HQ) involve the 6:30 am flight out of laguardia and coming back later that night.  next week, i’m actually coming home for 20 or so hours on wednesday, just to remind myself what my bed is like, and get my body a little un-twisted at the doc’s. 

yesterday’s first taste bodes well for the merry, merry month of may, as i sat on the runway at cleveland hopkins airport for hours because of thunderstorms.  not the ones that were actually happening in cleveland (as we were getting on the plane, i was watching lightning hit the runways), but the ones that might be happening in new york later.  might. be. happening.

the upside is that i do get to see a game at the jake (weather permitting), but as yet see no lunch with little richard at the r&r hall of fame on my itinerary.

also, there’s no alec baldwin involved.  i know, i know.  but he makes me laugh and has the best voice on the planet.  and trust me, my dad’s said way worse.  so get off my back.

because manufacturing meth is such a hassle…

Hold The Coffee! Caffeinated Donuts and Bagels Could Provide That Morning Buzz!

DURHAM, N.C., Jan. 24 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — If that cup o’ joe you drink each morning to get moving is getting old, just wait. You soon may be able to get the same jolt from a donut or bagel. A North Carolina scientist has developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods and is now pitching the concept to some of your favorite bakeries and coffee shops.

Buzz Donuts(TM) and Buzzed Bagels(TM) are the brainchild of Dr. Robert Bohannon, a molecular scientist living in Durham, NC. Dr. Bohannon has developed a way to mask the normal bitterness of caffeine so that it can be used in food and pastry products such as bagels and donuts.

“I had the idea for caffeinated pastries several years ago, but the bitter taste of the caffeine would always overwhelm the flavor,” says Dr. Bohannon, who is president of Onasco, Inc. “I eventually worked with some flavoring experts and designed a method to mask the bitterness, which led to successfully adding the caffeine equivalent of one to two cups of coffee to the food item.”

Dr. Bohannon has already approached well-known chains including Krispy Kreme, Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts about his invention. He thinks it’s just a matter of time before caffeinated pastries become a morning mainstay. He has already patented the idea along with a method of controlling the amount of caffeine contained in the food.

A typical cup of coffee contains 50 mg of caffeine. Caffeinated pills contain between 100 to 200 mg per capsule.

“Some people get their caffeine buzz from soda, chocolate and other sources besides coffee,” continues Dr. Bohannon. “The Buzz Donut and the Buzzed Bagel lets them get the caffeine buzz by simply eating a delicious pastry item.”

Two quick observations:

Based on the number of exclamation points in the headline, I’m betting PR Newswire got some free samples.

At least No Doze has no calories.  This is definitely going to up the ante on the Freshman 15…

working from home

I think it’s more stressful to work from home.  Trying to juggle Law and Order and product development for Lite Brite…Actually, it’s claustrophobia inducing.  Thank god the pain distracts me from the boredom and restlessness. 

This new “pain management” treatment has thus far provided more pain than managment, but I’m hopeful.  I go for my second session tomorrow- 16 or so more injections, plus the massage (or ‘beating the lidocaine in’- perspective is a funny thing, innit?).  I can definitely feel a difference in my neck, so it’s doing something.  Here’s hoping that what that something is, is healing.

Like I have room to complain. A good friend lost her baby more than halfway along.  She and her husband are the best couple I know.  They’re defeated now, but they’re determined to go on.  So when you’re praying, or thinking, or meditating or whatever, keep them and all their future kids in your thoughts.


“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”


Upon common theatres, indeed, the applause of the audience is of more importance to the actors than their own approbation. But upon the stage of life, while conscience claps, let the world hiss! On the contrary if conscience disapproves, the loudest applauses of the world are of little value - john adams
May 2018
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from the man who taught me everything:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”